How to Tie Head Scarves: A Cancer Patient’s Humorous Approach

Scarves and headscarves can cover your bald head or your surgery scars, but they are a bit hard to figure out

Since my bilateral mastectomy, I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. I wish I could say I’ve used it well. I seriously doubt that anyone will think grousing about my inability to take a shower or sleep in a position other than my back qualifies as time well spent! But I have been thinking about how to tie head scarves, as cancer patients do.

 

When wondering what to wear, head scarves are always a good idea

During this interim period, since I’m not quite ready for a bra fitting, I decided it would be a good idea to go through my wardrobe and figure out what will work and what won’t. It won’t be earth-shaking news for readers who also no longer have breasts, but one of my first post-surgery realizations was that scarves can hide any number of missing parts. They can cover surgery scars, hide the unevenness that is my chest, and can keep me warm since I’m losing my hair. It’s only a matter of learning how to tie head scarves – then this cancer patient will be all set.

 

For some reason over the past few years I’ve managed to accumulate enough scarves to adorn a harem. Whether I got them as gifts or bought them myself, I don’t recall — I claim chemo brain for that — but my closet is filled with big scarves, little scarves, rectangular and square scarves, scarves with prints and scarves without. There are light scarves and dark scarves, summer scarves and winter scarves, head scarves with a little hat built in, even infinity scarves (where do they begin or end?)! In other words, anyone unable to find at least one scarf that works perfectly would be an anomaly. (I seem to be an anomaly.) How to tie the scarves is another matter entirely.

 

Step by step, how to tie head scarves for cancer patients (maybe)

I have friends who wear scarves and look smashingly stylish. To date, whenever I attempt a scarf as an accessory, I come off looking like I did when I played dress up as a child. You know, the concept is viable but I appear to be wearing something obviously meant for someone else.

 

The fact is, while it isn’t too hard to figure out how to tie head scarves, this cancer patient has always been a little ‘knot’ impaired.

 

So, while spending endless hours recuperating from surgery, I made a plan: If nothing else, I was going to discover how to tie and wear said scarves so that when I am once again feeling fine, I can re-enter the world looking marvelous.

 

With just a few mouse clicks online, I was inundated with more ways to tie a head scarf than a cancer patient can imagine. I discovered everything from 25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes; 15 Chic and Creative Ways to Tie a Scarf for Cancer Patients; even How to Tie a Silk Scarf – 18 Steps with Pictures. I’d been struggling to find one single way that served my needs and it appears anyone should be able to master a multitude of methods!

 

Why do my scarves seem to get funnier?

But my scarves still don’t look quite right: Friends who tie scarves creatively to hide a wrinkly neck (and look good) must have much longer necks than I do. Acquaintances that can double a scarf, wrap it around their neck and create a dramatic statement piece continue to amaze me, because when I attempt the same “look” I appear trapped, like a snail trying to emerge from its shell.

 

Even the elderly trendsetters I know, who effortlessly manage to tie a head scarf into a stylish turban, have left me floundering. I tried to achieve this look and resembled the genie in an old black and white movie about Aladdin.

 

I’m sorry, I don’t actually have the solution to how to tie head scarves for cancer patients. I’ve tried. But it appears that unless I plan to spend the remainder of my years tangled up with fabric around my head and neck, I won’t wear any of these scarves. Don’t laugh, it’s ‘knot’ funny!